The Story Behind the Blog
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for christ’s sake. for when i am weak, then i am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10
Finding my voice…
I have to admit, I am a bit of an introvert. So, this blog is my version of living “out loud”. In fact, I believe my voice is loudest when I write (or in this case, type). I found this voice when I was just twelve years old and wrote my first poem: When My Eyes Start to Burn. What led a twelve-year-old to write this type of poem?
Well...the previous summer my dad suffered a stroke that left him physically disabled and unable to work. My mom became the bread winner and suddenly a family of four was trying to live off the hourly-wage of a bank teller.
After this, everything changed.
We uprooted from our home in Las Vegas and moved back to where my parents grew up…good ol’ east Texas (near the Tyler-area for those of you who are curious).
The blessing in my burdens…
I didn’t share all of that to gain your pity or to preface some sort of rag-to-riches fairy tale. First off, I’m far from rich (at least, monetarily). I also don’t want you to think I only wrote as an expression of my pain and sadness. In fact, my circumstances drew me closer to God, and through my faith and my writing, I found my strength.
This led me to write poems like, You Don’t Have to Tell Me. All of the hardships I experienced, lit a fire in me at a young age. Watching my mom struggle to provide for our family inspired me to start planning for my future, in order to one day change the trajectory for generations to come.
By the age of twelve, I made the conscious decision that I was going to go to college, graduate and have a career (not a job)…And by the grace of God, I did (and am doing) just that.
So, I find myself at a point where I’ve earned the degrees. I’m well into my professional journey. However, I still feel this tug from my adolescent self, like a small child tugging on the hem on her mother’s dress. The tug is from the little girl with the wide-eyes and bushy-tail screaming, “You’re not done yet. You haven’t risked enough. When did you decide to ‘tone-down’ your big dreams and aspirations to fit the narrative of your current situation?” I was being reminded that I’m still allowing fear to stop me from leaping. Not just fear of failure, but fear of public failure. Fear of humiliation due to said failure. Fear of wasted effort.
This blog is me breaking free of fear’s strong hold…and leaping. So, I invite you to stick around and see where I land…or you can leap with me (whatever that might look like for you). I pray you’re doing more than existing.